Relationship at what cost!!

When love depends on what we do and what we dont then the flow of our relationship definitely gets disturbed.When in a relationship conditions or rules overshadow love then naturally love fails. If too many conditions and rules are laid in a relationship then too much mind comes into a relationship. The beauty and charm of relationship is lost the moment rules are laid in a relationship. A healthy relationship demands smooth flow of love without any type of conditioning and requires a healthy understanding.

If conditions prevail then it results in insecurity and exit of trust. One then starts to feel that its not him that is being appreciated or like but his actions. He is loved for following the rules and reacting according to way the other person wants him to. As long as he follows those rules things go fine externally but the moment one deviates from enters a negative change in the relationship. One stops not enjoying the company and not living the moment but only dragging the going nowhere relationship as long as he can drag it.

Another type is that one does anything and everything in order to please the other person no matter if one looses his self respect, values , principles or himself. One then starts living the way what pleases the other person in order to be in that company or relationship.

A relationship is according to me is what you do and what you dont, it does not bring any changes in your relationship. One has the room and freedom in being in that relationship. Anywhere if ones self respect is at stake then that relationship needs to be corrected. All depends on the individual as to at what cost he want to carry on the relationship.

Intra Relationship

Life is a series of relationships. The primary relationship that we share is with ourself. I can only give what i have. If i have wisdom i can share wisdom. If i have prosperity or poverty then thats what i can share with others. If i dont love myself then how can i expect others to love myself. If i ma not able to accept myself then how can i expect others to accept me and understand me.

The way we perceive is just a reflection of how we perceive ourself. We measure only the world by the measure we measure ourself or the standards we have set. Thats why its important to live and let live. If we dont know how to live then how can we allow others to live. Thats why "live" comes before and then "let". So i think we should first get our relationship with ourselves right and then only attempt to get our relationship with others right.

To have a healthy relationship with one should try to to first have a healthy relationship with ourself than try to have a better balanced relationship with others. If we are successful with having a successful relationship with ourselves then naturally healthy relationship with others and happiness may be a by product of it.

* I was not able to post any posts in these two months as i was a bit busy. Missed you bloggers a lot!! Will be active from on!!

Handle Your Relationships

We all are born in relationship and its with us from the time of our birth till the time we die. Relationships should survive the problems that we face in the day to day lives. Sometimes its better to keep a distance in order to keep the relationship. There can be times when one has to break a relationship when it becomes unbearable share the space with the person. Relationships main success mantra according to me is trust. I may be wrong but thats what i feel. If one does not have trust in a relationship, then problems are bound to happen and we decide break away from it when its not possible to carry on further with it as one starts to realize it as a burden.

Trust,love, space, mutual respect are important features in a relationship. Some how we tend to take it for granted and when a relation fails in any one of the category, the crack develops. Its very difficult to cover the cracks as once developed...always leaves a mark. When mistrust and insecurity makes their entry at the initial stages we tend to ignore them when they are small, and when it develops big enough to disturb us we are left with just one option...end it.

I have always felt that its conversations are the most important way of building a relationship. One needs to talk when he/she is supposed to. Keeping issues under the pillow will never solve your problem. One has face them. Someone said to me dont be honest when speaking the truth as it may hurt someone. Is it?? I doubt...these people according to me dont want to see the reality and want to live in a world that does not even exist. One rather try to not damage the relation more but by not replying to the questions that have come up and simply closing your eyes or putting blinkers wont solve your problem. One has to understand that you not being reactive to the situation is in a way creating more problems for the other person. In a relationship one is not alone...there are others also involved.

Relationship is something that cannot be forced, an depends on mutual respect. One should learn the fundamentals of the game, band aid remedies never last. Learn and know what is required to make your relationship healthy. Experience teaches you all but sometimes you can be too late to react. So its better to be proactive than reactive most of the times as far as relationships are concerned.

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Eid Mubarak and Happy Durga Puja to all you bloggers!!! Enjoy the festive season!

Simple yet Complicated.....Relationships Vicious Circle !!

Remembering the past is most of the time relaxing...only some incidents that really makes u feel uncomfortable. I remember during school days life was so tension free of what u do or what u talk. One could simply say anything to any of your friends, fight with them...and then after school we all were together with our hands on each others shoulder, joking around as if nothing happened. Now if i compare it with today one has to be careful what comes out of my mouth that he may not like and his angers hangover would stay for long!!!I too have changed and react differently to different situations. One can get into heated arguments have we all changed??? . Life never remains the same. So funny...we are the same person, or is it that the content is same only the layout is different.


Its not only in friendship that this happens...it happens i suppose in every relationship. I guess its all because of the vicious cycle of relationship. Any relationship that enters into the introduction stage has great demand and enjoys the want from both sides of the relationship. Thens it enters growth stage as ones dependability on the other increases. The graph goes high in a love relationship, where the couple just want to stay with each other as much as possible...wonder they never get bored of each other..lol!!! Now relationship enters the maturity stage as nothing exciting is going around during this period. Its here all the tension or dissatisfactions creeps in. At this stage if all the problems are not answered and solved these can emerge as big problems in future and ruin the relationship. Actually majority of us at this stage are in a "controlled schizophrenic "..that ultimately results us going in the next stage.Things have changed but we dont seem to either accept it or not able to see it. It then leads to decline stage those problems that we had not answered and thought that as time passes by things will be fine and get healed...never ever happened. Ultimately the relationship experiences this stage , i.e end of the relation.

Now with end of a relation, one cant just stop in that time zone or go back to those cushion days. So now life gives us another opportunity to enter into another relationship with the introduction stages door always open for us.
This is reality...the sooner we accept it, better it is for us!!!


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Its been nearly a month now, guys i forgot to mention one thing. My blog has been awared "Honest Scrap" award by Dr. Chandana Shekar , thaks a lot, sorry for posting it so late!!!

I would like to pass it to my fellow bloggers-

KB
Sakshi
Deepika Gupta
Babli
Deeps
Swatantra
Shilpa
Neha Thakkar Silam
Usha
Easha
Sujata
Aruna
Ersa