When love depends on what we do and what we dont then the flow of our relationship definitely gets disturbed.When in a relationship conditions or rules overshadow love then naturally love fails. If too many conditions and rules are laid in a relationship then too much mind comes into a relationship. The beauty and charm of relationship is lost the moment rules are laid in a relationship. A healthy relationship demands smooth flow of love without any type of conditioning and requires a healthy understanding.
If conditions prevail then it results in insecurity and exit of trust. One then starts to feel that its not him that is being appreciated or like but his actions. He is loved for following the rules and reacting according to way the other person wants him to. As long as he follows those rules things go fine externally but the moment one deviates from enters a negative change in the relationship. One stops not enjoying the company and not living the moment but only dragging the going nowhere relationship as long as he can drag it.
Another type is that one does anything and everything in order to please the other person no matter if one looses his self respect, values , principles or himself. One then starts living the way what pleases the other person in order to be in that company or relationship.
A relationship is according to me is what you do and what you dont, it does not bring any changes in your relationship. One has the room and freedom in being in that relationship. Anywhere if ones self respect is at stake then that relationship needs to be corrected. All depends on the individual as to at what cost he want to carry on the relationship.
20 comments:
Different strokes for different folks. Relattionshps are so different and they are constructed by the people that make them !
The costs are again defined by the people in the relationship !
Actually, its a lot more complex ! :)
Hi Nazish,
I am a recent visitor of your blog. About the recent blog, I do agree with you completly as far as the consequenses of relationship is concerned. At the end you are on the spot while saying that Its one individual choise to take a call that at waht cost he or she wants to be in a relationship while diluting his/her self respect. I too have some similar experiences and I do believe that In any relationship you either do or don't do. :) :)
Relationship... we all are bound by them at different level like a string in the guitar.. and the best music can only be made by putting them all together..
I commented here earlier..I dunno why it is not reflecting..
Everything has conditions or we would never have words like 'If". Even programming has it. It is one package: Relationship and condition.
The reality is that every relation has to pay a price.It is upto us as to hpw we take it
nice post..there are certain things situation based too..a relationship cannot be generalized..definition of each thing changes with circumstances..
PS: I had commented earlier..I dunno..I guess the comment simply vanished..
I think nothing comes without a cost. In relationships it might be adjustments or compromises. It's ok until you have to compromise your identity or true self. :)
i think in the long run...only a freindly, understanding, give and take relationship cn work romantically... any relationship asking fr an excess of compromise or adjustment becomes too taxing.. nd also a little expectation nd a lil need for adjustment is always there... lil...not excessive...
@ Kavi
Yup i know its very complex..
@ Nandal Thanks for your lovely comments Nandal..do visit again!!
@ Swatantra Very well put ya!!
@ The Holy Lama
Wht we can do is atleast avoid as much possible!
@ Neha Hmm but not at the cost of self respect!!
@ Destiny;s I totally agree with u
@ Ammara Give is fine but the moment u expect something from any1 then the problem arises...its better not to expect anything in return from anyone!!
You wrote:
"one does anything and everything in order to please the other person no matter if one looses his self respect, values , principles or himself. One then starts living the way what pleases the other person in order to be in that company or relationship".
Very thoughtful words.
Cost wont be high if one is lucky enough to have the right partner :)
A successful relationship wont have many rules and regulations. Both should feel free and have a good understanding without any suspicions.
There's no one formula to make any relationship work, I think. It all depends on the individual involved...how they act / react, what levels they set, etc.
Nice post, nazish
there are really all kinds of relationships, but the one you want i guess is the unconditional love kind, isnt it? :)
I so agree with you..There may be umpteen kinds of people with umpteen kinds of relations they believe in...but the fact is...however compromising, one starts losing sanity once the self respect is at stake...And I believe the person should understand right there, though not before trying to make it work, that some relations are better called off than letting go of whatever little respect one had for the other!!
A thoughtful post, indeed!!:)
This was a good topic raised by you and yes it depends on the indiviual how much will he go far to maintain his relationship.I will never low down my self respect even if it means to end a relationship.Good post
I guess we stumble in our relationships due to the expectations we have from people. Too high at times!
I was nodding in agreement in all that you said here, Nazish. A very well written article. A relationship works when you allow each other to be yourself.
I feel in a relationship giving each other their space is very important.Over crowding, ego, and imposing one's view on other and other such things are the elements that can break a healthy relationship.
People have the right to be different, for as we all know variety is the spice of life. Just as all five fingers are not same, people too have to be different.
What do we call a relationship which ended with silence filled the distance?
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